Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
|
|
10:03 pm
|
I've hated Crantz for ages. It started with little things, like the feeling I was being manipluated...and then grew slowly worse. Terrible things started happening when he was displeased. Now I know the truth - that he is the very beating heart of my angst, my coffee beans of despair.
As a minion of depthless evil, this kinda turns me on.
|
|
(abuse)
|
|
Sunday, February 29th, 2004
|
|
11:48 am
|
Regarding the record being provided: Grima sucks so much. ;_; I feel ill-used...and dirty...and woe.
Moreover, I am fairly certain this means he won't make the happy purring noises for me anymore.
|
|
(abuse)
|
|
Friday, January 30th, 2004
|
|
10:29 pm
|
Grima and I had a talk. It mostly consisted of him telling me that he was taking over raising Thorondir. That basically I'm an insane pedophilic freak who shouldn't ever talk to Thorondir again if I really wanted what was best for him. >.<
I'm not. I just care about the clone. His age is a technicality. In my mind he isn't a child anymore...but still... I am afraid that I've not only spoilt him but stunted his social growth as well. Now with Grima intervening it has become inevitable - any choice I make will hurt Thorondir.
So I'm leaving the lab permenantly. Not going back. Not taking him with me. Going to stay in Minas Tirith for a few months because noone will look for me there... Maybe apply for assistant librarian position...
current mood: I miss Thorondir.
current music: will not angst will not angst will not angst...
|
|
(9 attacks | abuse)
|
|
Tuesday, January 6th, 2004
|
|
1:01 pm
|
As usual Erendis, the unholy bitch, reported my past actions in the most unfavorable light possible. So here's a rebuttal summary of the events at the lab these past few months.
1) I erm..bonded with Thorondir and took him away from the lab when the enviroment grew hostile. ...an unfortunate mix of Trotter molesting Thorondir and Ioreth screaming things like, "Begone from my sight you unclean defiler of little children and take your underage boywhore with you."
2) ...but really Thorondir isn't underage. Sixteen is legal right?
3) And then Eight showed up and stuff happened.
4) And then I had a lapse of sanity and destoryed the lab. ... >.> But somehow it was all Erendis' fault really.
5) And then Six showed up and more stuff happened.
6-9) *eyedarts* ...right so I'm just going to skip over these points here. Stupid wraiths.
10) Thorondir makes a cute little homicidal ice pixie. ...OUCH. Ice SPRITE. Sheeesh. He also has exceptional aim. *rubs the back of his head*
1l) Um. I really really like throwing myself off the southern cliffs of Numenor. And staring up at the sky... Am getting much better at being an air maia.
12) ...and this isn't going very well is it?
*sulk* ...am not a whore. REALLY. Nope nope nope nope nope. Even if I could make quite a bit of extra cash at it. >.> My chastity just happens to be of the well used sort.
current mood: errrr...
current music: I have many good intentions....Really!
|
|
(9 attacks | abuse)
|
|
Wednesday, December 31st, 2003
|
|
5:02 pm
|
Concerning the movie, has anyone else noticed the suspicious lack of lab characters? No Ioreth, no Grima and no ME. That hack, Peter Jackson, even cut out the Throrondir's stripping/musical number and the Erendis/Gwathren makeout scene.
Instead, he gave nearly half an hour to a disfigured orc and the chubbie elfslut, completely ignoring the prettiness that is me. *miffed sniffle* I would be bitter but I still have hopes of seeing the aforementoned bits and the orgy in Zion Minas Tirith scenes in the extended edition...
|
|
(1 attack | abuse)
|
|
Friday, October 24th, 2003
|
|
6:23 pm
|
It's been um, oh nearly two and a half months since I've updated.
Some things have change. That is an understatement the size of Numenor. ...which in itself is ironic since most people picture Numenor to be much smaller than it actually was. Numenor was in fact larger than the three inches most maps credit it as being. To be more precise (but no less vague) about the state of affairs in the lab, quite a bit has changed...at least from my particuar point of view.
I'm currently with Thorondir in Bree and he is planning on releasing incriminating information so I've decided to act first and defend myself.
1. The amount of alcohol I've begun consuming is negligable when compared with the amount Grima tends to consume when he's in a comparable mood. ...this is of course ignoring the sad fact that I don't have a strong constituion for alcohol. Three serving of any given alcoholic beverage tends to get me very solidly drunk.
2) I have strong suspicions that he's taking the fullest advantage of said situation. Which isn't *that* objectionable from my point of view...except that I haven't the foggiest idea what exactly has been happening...and apparently I'm taboo when sober.
3) I also strongly suspect that I will be dead in a few days...if not less and the rest of the lab has probably already perished dreadfully. Hence the alcohol and wanton-Thorondir-related-behavior...maybe some drugs if I can purchase them without having to interact a with a hobbit. After incidents with Ioreth's winged hobbits, I've grown rather terrified of the little beasties and this terror extends to the wingless variety as well.
...I've considered making a last will and testament, however I don't believe I have anything to will away any more and to make the will legal...I'd I have to interact with more hobbits...
*eyedarts* Right. So. That is roughly how things stand with me.
current mood: not drunk enough
current music: ...but I will be soon.
|
|
(11 attacks | abuse)
|
|
Friday, August 22nd, 2003
|
|
4:26 pm
|
|
|
Saturday, August 16th, 2003
|
|
8:53 am
|
Mouth: ...Thorondir? Are you okay?
Thorondir: um. I have to leave you alone now. And stop being a pest.
Mouth: *nods* Ioreth talked to you then but you're okay right?
Thorondir: *small voice* Yes. Can I go, please?
Mouth: *concerned look* If you want to.
Thorondir: *nods and scurries off*
( A talk with Ioreth about Thorondir where Mouth accepts responsiblity for the clone and argues against rescarring him )
So as long as I can convince Thorondir not to do anything stupid that ends in his death, he should be okay. I really adore Ioreth but the nochalant way she uses Rethium disturbs me. Admittedly much more now that I know what it feels like...
current mood:  determined
|
|
(80 attacks | abuse)
|
|
Tuesday, August 12th, 2003
|
|
2:28 am
|
I *hate* the woods. Especially wandering around in them and getting terribly hopelessly lost. Bloody stupid Trotter. Bet he knew this would happen. Not an outdoors person by any stretch of the imagination and the further I go, the denser it seems to get.
This wouldn't be so bad if I could teleport properly but as it is, I have to know where I'm going in relation to where I am for it to work. Boiling down to I don't find Trotter again I could die and rot out here. Bah. Stupid stupid stupid.
|
|
(31 attacks | abuse)
|
|
Saturday, August 9th, 2003
|
|
10:02 pm
|
Right. Well. Thorondir left this morning. And I'm a real jerk...there's no getting around it. Maybe I *was* right in turning him away but there's no satisfaction in it. I'm not better for it. I don't have the higher moral ground. At least Trotter was direct...
The poor, stupid, little clone's seduction did work. I just didn't have the guts to carry though the physical aspect of it.
And again there's that compulsive need to leave...except it's rather impossible to escape yourself.
|
|
(abuse)
|
|
Thursday, August 7th, 2003
|
|
2:34 pm
|
Thorondir has been behaving for the most part since he promised not to try to seduce me again, although there's still no telling when he'll decide to return to his own bed to sleep. So I've kept teaching him and when he's not biting or pinching it's almost pleasant. Still miss Ioreth.
No sign of any improvement in his quest to find the soul although the tenecious little imp keeps trying. Have begun to reconsider and think this is a good thing. Theoretically yes - everyone can learn but not always on the same level. ...And it would be cruel to teach him and then for him to find out he didn't have the talent necessary to help with Gwathern.
Not to mention potentially how difficult he could be if he did succeed...
|
|
(57 attacks | abuse)
|
|
Thursday, July 31st, 2003
|
|
8:40 pm
|
Thorondir slept with me again last night...no - still haven't done anything with him. Ment to throw him out but really have no desire for more death threats or any more close encounters with rethium. I'll just have to wait out of this wanting to seduce me phase. Please Eru, let it just be a phase.
Have been trying to find excuses not to be in my room so much so this afternoon I did more air cleansing mostly around Minas Tirith. Gah the angst is so heavy in the air there, it's formed a greasy film on the buildings. Not that I suppose I'm one to talk...but i did some cleaning and the city is set to have cheerful weather for the next few days - no matter how much some of the citizens may wish for rain and thunderstorms for atmosphere.
So... back now at the lab now and tired and really one of these days Thorondir will have to see reason and let me sleep.
|
|
(39 attacks | abuse)
|
|
Monday, July 28th, 2003
|
|
11:07 am
|
|
|
|
1:08 am
|
I'm bloody tired. This makes the third night I've avoided Thorondir's advances. I'm not Schereazade by any streach of the imagination and he's only going to put up with my boring stories for so long. Will have to start looking into tranquilzers soon. ¬.¬ The combination of breaking up with Ioreth and Thorondir allowing me only four hours of sleep a night is starting to have ill effects.
Part of me is rather worried that unwillingness to face my past with Ioreth is why I've allowed Thorondir to stay and why I put up with his persistant attempts to seduce me. He's kept me from slipping into angst and it's nice to have a distraction - even one that pinches as much as he does. But avoiding my own problems is no reason to allow this.
I keep forgetting he's still a child. On reflection, it's embarrassing to recall how close I've come to giving in to his requests. I'm rather disgusted with how I've handled the situation. I should've dragged him back to his room last night, even if it ment dealing with him in an angry snit in the morning. I should carry him back now ...but I don't think I will.
He is rather beautiful when he's asleep and not trying to run me up a wall... And I suppose it is nice to have someone here who wants me, even if it's in a different way that I'd prefer...
...I need more sleep. Really.
current mood:  exhausted
|
|
(3 attacks | abuse)
|
|
Saturday, July 26th, 2003
|
|
8:17 pm
|
So I think it's finally settling in that Ioreth is in love with Erendis. Maybe. Today has just been surreal. Maybe it was all some bizarre alcohol induced nightmare. Except it isn't.
I've just felt so off balance... And Thorondir trying to seduce me??? I keep expecting to wake up any minute...but I'm awake. Agreed to teach Thorondir magic more to have something to concentrate on rather than think about Ioreth... Keeps me from sulking overmuch.
I just...need to talk to her...er...him?
current mood:  blank
|
|
(14 attacks | abuse)
|
|
|
1:12 pm
|
Woke up with a pounding headache, a vague recollection of Ioreth...dumping me for Erendis? and...
...Thorondir in my bed.
Trying not to panic. This does not have the makings for a good day.
|
|
(54 attacks | abuse)
|
|
Friday, July 25th, 2003
|
|
9:00 pm
|
So I got up the nerve to ask Ioreth if she had been sleeping with Grima or was interested in him expecting to be slapped or berated for being a jealous hypocritical cad and she didn't give me an answer. Instead she turned into some scary male version of her to try to intimidate me from asking again.
After much beating around the bush she practically admitted to it and so I'm here back in my room drinking for the first time since well...I had drunken sex with Grima. Which sorta has put a damper on enjoying the rum at all.
I really don't care. I'm not really great boyfriend material. I've made mistake but I really adore her... I just wish she was herself again and I was maybe someone who she could love back. I've really tried but somehow I alway seem to fall short.
current mood:  depressed
|
|
(25 attacks | abuse)
|
|
|
12:27 am
|
Ioreth is going through a thing with pirates now...or dreads...I'm not sure which but I woke up this morning to find she'd put in weave and superglued on some facial hair. I'm humoring her because I absolutely adore her and will most likely face certain death if I do not comply with her wishes.
So. Right. Fucking Arrrr and stuff. This sucks and the hair itches like mad.
If it turns out to be a Grima thing instead of a pirate thing, I am going to weep and then do something drastic and then apologise for it and weep some more.
current mood: sulky
|
|
(31 attacks | abuse)
|
|
Saturday, July 12th, 2003
|
|
12:31 am
|
(Ioreth) *wanders around all tiny*
(Mouth) *sees Ioreth, blinks and FLEEES* She's REPRODUCED! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
(Ioreth) I *hate* you.
(Mouth) *stands on a chair* ...we're all going to DIE!
(Ioreth) *gets scalpel* *lunge*
(Mouth) ...oh wait...forgot I'm not entirely helpless. *freezes the tiney white pirannah in midair* Ever since those chips in the head *shudders*
(Ioreth) *hiss*
(Mouth) *peers* Sooo sweetie...how many brothers and sisters do you have?
(Ioreth) I hate you
(Mouth) ...be careful or I'll hot glue you to the ceiling.
(Ioreth) You wouldn't dare
(Mouth) Why wouldn't I? *tilts head* You certainly don't look like any of my offspring... Wrong color you know.
(Ioreth) God, I hope I'm not yours
(Mouth) Right. Glued to the ceiling you go - at least until Ioreth comes to claim you and explain.
(Ioreth) I AM IORETH
(Mouth) Oh really? I think I know what Ioreth looks like and you're a touch young. Unlike Trotter, I don't go picking up dates at day care centers.
( And then it only got worse... )
You know I don't think I could so consistantly make the wrong decisions if I TRIED to....
current mood: ajklf;jkla;dfj;a.
|
|
(19 attacks | abuse)
|
|
Thursday, July 10th, 2003
|
|
10:04 pm
|
I've spent the past week in Mandos with Jade. She's really nice... And I really appreciated her rescuing me and letting me stay and rest. I need to go back to the lab though...I shouldn't have left Ioreth. She did resurrect me... Well I know my way back from here. Should leave something nice for her though...
*thinks then smiles and works intently with a vase full of water for about an hour* There! A dozen Water Roses. Not bad...and they should last about a month... *leaves in a vase on Jade's desk*
Now back to the lab... *teleports back and leans heavily against the hallway wall* Forgot how much teleporting directly into the lab will take out of you...and I've never been very good at teleporting. *rests for a moment then staggers off looking for Ioreth*
|
|
(29 attacks | abuse)
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
mouthofsauron's journal
guilty